Reign of Winter CHAPTER 32

CHAPTER 32

I couldn't sleep. After executing the prisoners and putting Valstoi's head on a pike, we had been searching the tower for anything that could help us in  the hard times to come. Then we took  a bath in the hall, though Argentea refused to take a bath with the rest of us and insisted on doing it after we were done, because apparently human nobles shouldn't bathe with other people. Later we had some dinner and went to bed. I was doing fine, finally enjoying some rest and not thinking about tyrant witches and dead people at all. Until I had the brilliant idea of sleeping alone. Cat and Nadya chose to sleep in the main hall and the barracks respectively, which were the two warmest places in the whole tower. But I wanted to see the starry sky and insisted on staying in the aerie. What was I trying to prove? That I was already a big girl who could sleep alone? Well, I apparently wasn't. Everytime I closed my eyes I was overwhelmed by all that had happened during  the day, and I knew that if I managed to fall  asleep it would be worse, as I'd be haunted by nightmares again.

In the darkness, the ice crystals from the mobile cast ominous shadows on the walls, and I remained laying on my bed (which used to be Jairess' bed), staring at them, hypnotized while lost in my own thoughts. I wasn't afraid of any darkness that wasn't my own, but that one terrified me. In the end, I had to admit that I was still incapable  of sleeping alone. That made me feel so frustrated: I didn't want to be a burden on  my sister for the rest of my life.
I stood up, put on my coat and left the aerie, letting my feet guide my steps, and I found myself knocking on Nazhena's door.

-Wait a minute!- a female voice said from inside the room.

After a few seconds, Argentea opened the door. She wore a long nightgown that seemed both  elegant and comfortable, yet not particularly fitting. Whether she had recovered it from the doppelganger or borrowed it from Nazhena, it reinforced the impression that she owned the place.

-Can I come  in?- I asked shyly.
-Is everything alright?- she seemed worried.

I shrugged.

-I cannot sleep.

Argentea gave me a big smile.

-Oh, I see- I swear that she was about to burst into laughter-. Come in.

Judging from her expression, she thought I was making up an excuse to be with her.

-It's true. I can't sleep alone.- That I wanted to be with her was also true.
-Is it because of your dreams?- she asked. She no longer smiled.
-I think so.
-Do you want to talk about it?

I had never told anyone what my nightmares were about, not even my sister. I had always been her little girl and I didn't want that to change. The possibility of talking about it with  someone else felt relieving, though I was also afraid. I didn't want to appear like a monster.

-I... seduce men... in my dreams. I... hurt them... and then I... kill them.

Argentea seemed surprised, but she soon recovered.

-Have you ever wanted to do it for real?- she asked. She seemed concerned, but also curious.
-No! It's horrible!- I answered without thinking twice- I have strong... needs... but I don't want to hurt people.
Argentea gave me a calming smile.
-Then you aren't any different from everyone else. We all have a dark side. Self control is what keeps it at bay.

I didn't think that she fully understood what happened in my mind, but something told me that it was better like that. I returned the smile and threw myself onto the bed. I cried out in surprise.

-Help me! -I laughed- It's swallowing me!- she lent me a hand and I sat on the bed- What is this thing made of? It's fluffier than Nina!
-Haven't you ever seen a feather bed?
-How many beds do you think I've seen in my life? Until a few years ago I believed that all humans slept on piles of straw!
-Right, I had forgotten- Argentea gave me another serious, concerned look-. You know, my offer still stands: when I get back home you and your sister can come with me.
-Cat is a wild elf at heart, I don't think she'll enjoy the life between four walls a lot. But maybe I will take you up on your offer- I was lying. I knew that a higher destiny awaited me-. My sister deserves to stop living for me and start living for herself.
-She seems happy with it.
-She could be happier. Can I ask you something?
-Of course.
-Why are you so good to  us?

Argentea shrugged.

-Why aren't other people? That's what anyone should do.
-It isn't what anyone would do.- I answered. Then I felt the sudden urge to kiss her and acted without thinking, but Argentea grabbed me by the shoulders to stop me. Had I gone too far? I didn't want to make her upset.
-What are you doing?- she protested. I was quick to try to apologize, but she cut me off before I could- Have you washed your mouth?
-Y-yes.- I was puzzled. Why the sudden concern about the hygiene of my mouth?
-There aren't any spiders left, are there?

She was being absolutely serious, but I found her attitude funny. I couldn't help but start laughing.

-That was just a spell! I am not made of spiders, you know, I just summon them!
-But why inside of you? That's gross!
-Because... magic?
-Magic is gross.

I had to admit she was right. I found the spiders to be rather cute, but having them crawling from my throat wasn't something I especially enjoyed.

-Not all magic, just mine.- as far as I knew, wizards summoned their spiders outside of their bodies.
-It's all the same. I don't like magic. Any magic.

I smiled and kissed her again. This time Argentea didn't push me aside. She seemed to be a bit uncomfortable at first, but she relaxed and let herself go as soon as my tongue touched hers. I animated my hair to embrace and caress her.

-That is actually a bit creepy.

I let my hair turn back to normal.

-You are no fun at all.- I complained with pretend annoyance while pushing my body against hers. We kissed again:  a long, wet kiss. I couldn't believe that we had laid together the two previous days and I still felt the need to be with her one more time.
-You are insatiable, aren't you?- laughed Argentea in amusement when my hands slipped under her nightgown.

I blushed so hard that my face hurt.

-I like this.- was my only answer as we undressed each other.
-Me too but... three days! Isn't that  too much?
-We aren't doing anything wrong. You told me you did this before.
-Never that often!

Despite her complaints, she kept exploring my body with her hands, so I didn't feel like I should stop either. I started kissing her body. She was delicious.

-Did you do this with your maidens?- I asked out of curiosity.
Now it was Argentea's turn to blush.
-Uh... yes, but... A lady does not speak about certain things.
-Why? Do you think this is wrong?
-It's not that it is wrong, but many people wouldn't understand. It's a common way for  single ladies to avoid being tempted to be with a man, it must be kept private.

I didn't like what I was hearing. If felt hypocritical: she said that we weren't doing anything wrong but then we had to conceal it like we were.

-What's the difference between being with a man or a woman? Isn't it all the same?- I asked.
-Absolutely not.- she answered, slightly upset.

Kagonesti elves didn't make such distinctions, so Argentea's point of view really puzzled me. But I didn't want to keep upsetting her, so I just let it be.

-You humans are complicated- I mustered before getting lost again in her body.

Argentea got carried away with the same passion as usual. Whether what we were doing was right or wrong, she didn't seem to care a lot. For the first time, we believed we had  absolute privacy , so we took our time to explore each other. When we were done, we were both exhausted. I breathed deep and laid my head on her chest. She was far more comfortable than the bed that wanted to engulf me. She sniffed my hair and sighed.

-Are you wearing one of Nazhena's fragrances?- she asked.
-No, why?
-You seem to smell especially good today.

I felt a bit embarrassed.

-I bathed. I'd rather not tell how much time I had spent without taking a proper bath.
-No, it's not that- she sniffed my hair again-. It's a special scent. Maybe I didn't notice it before.

I was about to answer when I realized something else that we hadn't noticed before. My own naked figure was staring at me with a tired look on her face and her messy red hair turned into an even bigger mess after laying with Argentea from the big mirror on the wall. The sole idea of Nazhena spying on us while we had sex made me want to  be swallowed by the bed and disappear, but I didn't want to show embarrassment so I just sat on the bed and waved at my own reflection like it was someone else.

-Hello there! You have a comfortable bed, you know.

Argentea widely opened her eyes in realisation and covered herself with the bed sheets.

-Are you enjoying the view?- I went on.

Argentea laughed.

-You are insane!
-Does this offend you?- I let a good laugh came out of my throat- Then come and stop us! We are waiting for you!
-Are you being serious?- Argentea was embarrassed, puzzled and amused at the same time- Do you really think she has been spying on us?

I shrugged.

-Who knows? Just in case.

We would never know if she was, as she didn't magically appear then and we never got to question her about it later, but the sole idea of having been spied on through the mirror ended our fun for that day. We stayed awake for a while, just in case something happened.

-Can I stay for the night?- I asked shyly when I was starting to feel sleepy.
-Sure.

I laid my head on her chest again.

-My Bright Morning.- I chuckled.

I expected her to tell me I was creepy again, but that didn't happen. We were both already half asleep.